Losing the ability to drive or having to take keys away from a loved one is a major concern for many of our residents and their families. Resident and Creative Corner writing club member, Tom Grogan, has experienced this tough loss. He shares his emotions during the process and solutions to maintain his independence.
The Loss, The Pain, The Recovery
By Tom Grogan
Many of us have been affected by the same loss. We have had to give up driving. I had been driving for close to seventy five years when the forces around me decided I had to give it up. This goal was reached when I was in rehab for a broken/replaced right hip. My sluggish response to the reflex test was a recurring nightmare, especially in response to light and lane changes. I disagreed with the therapist and my daughter and son. Three days after my 93rd birthday, after a final driving test—where the results would not put me on the honor roll—I gave up driving. And, with emphasis, this decision was mine.
As I was to learn—this became a big loss.
Immediately, the pain of not driving hit me hard. The inability to be able to pick up and run an errand was a low point. Neither could I visit with an old friend or go to a communal activity. The sense of isolation was overwhelming. The pain became more intense and I began to feel sorry for myself. This condition I did not want nor did I want to dwell on it too long.
To resolve the issue of no longer driving required me to take stock of the situation. I stopped feeling sorry for myself. Instead, I began to look for resources to assist me.
Although known as an independent living facility, the Kenwood provides us a most organized and structured program—its transportation service. I learned the schedules and how to access the resources. I now go to my doctors, groceries and other appointments according to a plan. I go to mass due to the generosity of parishioners who get me to church and back home each Sunday morning. The resolving of my problem required organization and participation. After five and a half months, I do not worry about getting out. I fill out the required transportation request and am soon on my way. I no longer have to worry about the potential of an accident that could result in injury or death to myself or others. What a relief!